I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
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I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
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I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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