I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka?
Forever.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize