I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
thus making me awesome and them whores
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
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