The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Come see our sink grown plant.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
