im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Acid is not a monday night drug
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
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Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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