Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I think a kid would responsible me up
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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