eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
And then the night went full on bisexual.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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