When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
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Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
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We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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