are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize