No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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