Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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