STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
