and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Randomize
