That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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