I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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