can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
