chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
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