Who wears a wallet chain?!
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
