He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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