Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
