He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
