You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
