Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize