There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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