I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
