My liver just broke up with me...
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Randomize
