You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
