I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
