It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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