Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
he wants to bone in the snuggie
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
The struggles of a small town man whore
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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