We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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