i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
