No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
