That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I met the friendliest cop last night
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
