She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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