Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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