fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
