He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize