he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
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