ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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