3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
