I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
