I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
