this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
