Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
