So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)