best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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