She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
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