I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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