How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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