i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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