It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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