Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Randomize
