im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
you made out with another girl for some wings
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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