2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
